End of the year is always ticklish.

The heart squeals with the sense of the end, from the bubbling sense of uneasiness to look back at the year that has gone by. We instead gladly busy ourselves with end of the year festivities that are no different than any other, except everyone is united like never before in trying not to reflect on the year and prepare for the new one.

We dare to be different.

We look back deeply into the year that has given birth to noise with a quantitative and technical analysis. And we let out our primal truths in to the world, that our civilization's symbol for fall is indeed a symbol for the fall of our civilization.

Let our minds be strong. Let our hearts be true.

༼ つ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ༽つ ༼ʘ̚ل͜ʘ̚༽

– ƴΐ⍧ի⍲e⌊ ⅋ yӭ𐦤⚇⍕⍑

Fourier Analysis of Depressed Publishing Productivity

Introduction

Sorry we haven’t published in a while, ƴΐ⍧ի⍲e⌊ and I have both been overwhelmed by the inordinate weight of life, a hefty beast indeed.

Guilt is a tremendous driver for creative thinking. One could intuitively conclude that the cause of this delayed publication is our own procrastination. But that would not be creative.

Grasping for any explanation besides our own procrastination, I decided to analyze the data. Even when the sample size is small and sparse, it is still possible to apply complex analytical frameworks and derive self-confirmatory insights. It may not prove anything, but it is still creative.

Fourier Transform is the foundation of anything that has to do with squiggly lines, such as sound and electromagnetic waves. The technique enables us to separate out the complicated, mashed up waves into its constituent parts. It lets us control the waves. This is how we make the radio, Bluetooth, and Wi-Fi transmit information as a wave through space.

The act of writing is a form of squiggly lines, and so is the cadence of publishing.

Abstract

Based on this observation, we figured out that you can map our depression cycles by doing a Fourier transform on our noise publication dates, producing a waveform exactly matching our happiness over time.

Data

Here’s a graph of our publishing schedule in days, where the left boundary of the graph is May 11, 2023 (our first issue) and the right boundary of the graph is our last publishing date:

Method

We asked ChatGPT to generate a code to run Fourier Analysis. We did not verify whether it was correct. We just put in the dates into it.

Results

And here is the happiness waveform illustrating our collective depression cycle:

Lo and behold, the times where we published less frequently coincided perfectly with our deepest depression trough.

Discussion

Some may argue that the Fourier Analysis did not take into account the delay from origin, which could change the interpretation. Others may propose other statistical methods to understand the patterns. Many may simply think that this was an unnecessary exercise. We contend that all of these haters are not creative.

Conclusion

As a result, we believe that our delayed publication can be blamed on Joseph Fourier, who died in 1830 at the age of 62, without ever having married. This is a probable cause for transmitting vengeful negative energy posthumously. He needs to get over this.

Pumpkins are fucking stupid

Now that fall is officially over in the United States, I can finally say it:

PUMPKINS ARE FUCKING STUPID.

They look grotesque. Yet for some reason, the primary use for pumpkins are as decorations. Perhaps the ugliness of the pumpkin make the house with them look less ugly. But overall, there is more ugliness present in the real estate when you add ugly pumpkins to ugly houses.

As this recent historical documentary described, they look like melon with herpes. Having herpes doesn't make you look relatively better than herpes. You just have herpes.

We are taught to not judge a book by its cover. That people and things that may be ugly outside may hold infinite beauty within.

But in case of pumpkins, they don't even taste good. In western societies, the only two ways that pumpkins are consumed are pumpkin pie and pumpkin soup. I am yet to meet anyone who loves it so much that they would eat them more than once a year.

At this point, you might be wondering: But what about pumpkin spice?

Here's your new favorite fact: PUMPKIN SPICE DOES NOT HAVE PUMPKIN IN IT. IT'S JUST SPICE YOU PUT INTO PUMPKIN PIE, TO MAKE IT LESS DISGUSTING.

NO, NOR DOES PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE HAVE PUMPKINS. AND IT'S NOT FOR A LACK OF TRYING:

According to the American coffee chain Starbucks developed a Pumpkin Spice Latte in January 2003, adding it to a range of seasonal winter drinks. Starbucks' director of espresso Americas, Peter Dukes, said that "developers realized there was something special around the pumpkin flavor, especially since there wasn't anything around pumpkin at the time." The company experimented with different combinations and ratios of pumpkin to spice, ultimately deciding on a recipe with no pumpkin in it. It became Starbucks' most popular seasonal beverage.

It looks bad and tastes bad. It has no purpose in the human world.

Single People Representation

A transcript, taken from yӭ𐦤⚇⍕⍑'s most recent Twitch stream

Hey what's up! I'm, uh, coming out as single just to have more single representation in the in the [sic] on social media. I know lots of people think that if you're single then you're just a nerd, unsociable, can't maintain a relationship but really this is just stigma when we're actually pretty cool people.

So, if you're single and you feel unseen, unheard, unfelt, or, uhhhh [long pause], I can't really, hmm, honestly if you if you like I'm I'm [sic] I'm gonna be real social media, I'm dying of loneliness and if you are single and also, like me, want a partner to play Dominoes with on the weekends then definitely come out to my beer hang this Friday night we're gonna be at Local Brewery. That's the brand, Local.

Useless Pumpkin Facts

From a listicle written by a researcher from UC Davis

1. Pumpkin is a large melon. The word “pumpkin” originates from “peopon,” which means “large melon” in Greek. It then evolved to “pompon” in French and “pumpion” in Britain. The Americans later changed it to “pumpkin,” the name we still use today.
2. There is more pumpkin varieties than we need. Over 45 different varieties of pumpkin exist. They range in color including orange, red, yellow and green, and they boast names like Hooligan, Cotton Candy, and Orange Smoothie.
3. Pumpkins are basically water, but shitty. Interestingly, pumpkins are 92 percent water.
4. Jack-O'-Lanterns used to be from potatoes and turnips. The practice of carving Jack-O’-Lanterns was brought to America by Irish immigrants. In their homeland, the Irish used to carve Jack-O’-Lanterns out of potatoes or turnips, but upon arrival in America, they began to use pumpkins instead because they were far easier to carve. The tradition of the “Jack-O’-Lantern” stems from an Irish legend about a man named Stingy Jack who was a somewhat unpleasant character famous for playing tricks on people.
5. Every single part of a pumpkin is edible. The skin, leaves, flowers, pulp, seeds, and stems. Yet we still decide not to eat them.

quotes.txt

Asians are the most reliable when it comes to dental or surgical operations, because they have small hands and small eyes.

-- ƴΐ⍧ի⍲e⌊

All breweries are connected by the 6th dimension vibe portal.

-- yӭ𐦤⚇⍕⍑

sound.wav

Here we are
Stuck by this river
You and I
Underneath a sky that's ever falling down, down, down
Ever falling down

Through the day
As if on an ocean
Waiting here
Always failing to remember why we came, came, came
I wonder why we came

You talk to me
As if from a distance
And I reply
With impressions chosen from another time, time, time
From another time

prompts.bib

• Cover - Caught in a Spiral
  /imagine a human being extraordinarily enlightened:: mirrors, reflections, geometrical kaleidescope patterns:: the fractalization of the soul, an ever expanding infinitely recursive excursion of reflections --v 6.0
• 𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖎𝖋𝖆𝖈𝖙 1 - Waves of the Mind
  /imagine A depressed brainwaves fourier analysis
• 𝖆𝖗𝖙𝖎𝖋𝖆𝖈𝖙 2 - We're cool too!
  /imagine a group of single men of diverse ethnicities get together at a brewery:: photorealistic dslr::0.1 --v 5.2