𐄯 Drugs
Existence can be hard.
Every once in a while, the cumulative horrors of the world creep into my brain through the hairs on the back of my neck and push themselves into every corner of my perception. It feels like every breath I take is poison, and I'm drowning in putrid air. Hunger, poverty, violence, disease; I woke up and made store-bought eggs on an electric stove this morning. Can I coexist?
The desire to escape is only natural.
We need to alter our minds.
We need to alter our spirits.
With drugs.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
– yӭ𐦤⚇⍕⍑ ⅋ ƴΐ⍧ի⍲e⌊
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random_sampling
some things from the whole thing; excerpts
The Deadliest Sin
:max_bytes(150000):strip_icc():format(webp)/illustration-to-the-divine-comedy-by-dante-alighieri--abyss-of-hell---1480-1490--found-in-the-collection-of-the-biblioteca-apostolica-vaticana--486777773-5c3a03c246e0fb00016261f2.jpg)
“What do you think is the deadliest among the seven deadly sins?”
“I don’t even remember the seven of them. Let’s see."
Pride, Envy, Wrath, Sloth, Avarice, Gluttony, Lust
"Maybe Pride or Avarice? I think they could do the most harm to others.”
“It’s gluttony.”
Gluttony seemed like the least harmful. A little extra food, booze, and maybe some drugs?
“That’s surprising. What makes you say that?”
“Every other sin requires other people, people to commit sins against. Pride is loving yourself more than others, envy is being jealous of others, wrath is being angry at others, avarice is greedily taking more from others than you need, lust is desiring other people. Sloth is being lazy and not doing your part, which makes others need to work harder.”
“Gluttony, though, is something you commit against yourself. No one can stop you, because you’re doing it to yourself. People usually don't want to tell you to eat less or eat healthy. If it's your source of joy, who are they do tell you what to do? And if you're doing it by yourself at home, they can't tell you even if they wanted to.”
Before this conversation, I used to say 'I know meat is bad for health and the environment, but everything in life will kill you. Life will kill you. I'd rather enjoy life even if it gets shorter.' I used to say that about every vice of mine.
This conversation made me think about my addiction to food, booze, and drugs. Then I slowly swung the other way, trying all the healthy stuff. Maybe even addicted to fasting, sobriety, and meditation.
People are addicted to a lot of shit.
Sometimes to the obvious substances:
addicted to alcohol, addicted to cigarettes,
addicted to xanax, addicted to cocaine, addicted to opioids.
Sometimes to the common vices:
addicted to sex, addicted to gambling,
addicted to scrolling, addicted to socializing, addicted to solitude.
But also to seemingly justifiable habits:
addicted to shopping, addicted to working out,
addicted to eating healthy, addicted to being beautiful, addicted to cleaning.
And to the generally praised behaviors:
addicted to working hard, addicted to taking care of family,
addicted to being happy and fulfilled all the time.
We can be addicted to anything. It's all just a life-long balancing act. Trying to walk that squiggly and winding middle way, until the death drive reaches its end.
Too much obsession with anything, even with supposedly good things, can be detrimental. If you're selfless, it's important to make time for yourself. If you're trying to live to the fullest, it's important to spend time doing nothing. If you're trying to be happy, it's important to sit with the deep sadness, when it comes to visit you.
Everyone's heard of the Delphic maxim: "Know thyself."
As I sit here addicted to writing this long bullshit that you're getting tired of, I think of the two lesser-known maxims:
"Nothing in excess."
"Certainty brings ruin."
convolutional_kernels
adding a thing to a thing; remixes
In the Depths of the Vaults of Erowid
Erowid is the Wikipedia for psychonauts.
If there's a substance out there with even the slightest psychoactive properties – like, for example, nutmeg – you'll find way more information than you ever wanted about its history and science, as well as experiential reports written by people who did way too much of it.
Part wiki, part forum, Erowid has been the gold standard for community-driven drug knowledge since it was founded in 1995, with this vision:
Erowid is a member-supported organization providing access to reliable, non-judgmental information about psychoactive plants, chemicals, and related issues...
We imagine a world where people treat psychoactives with respect and awareness; where people work together to collect and share knowledge in ways that strengthen their understanding of themselves and provide insight into the complex choices faced by individuals and societies alike...
Today, in support of this vision, we share some of our favorite experiential reports from the Vaults of Erowid.
36 year old male jerks off on synthetic weed and contemplates life
"This is when things got interesting. I felt a pressure coming down on me, like my legs were made of metal."
15 year old girl has a crazy trip off of medical grade nightshade she stole from her mother's chemistry lab
"The room was filled with strange colours, that even now, I have problem to describe them exactly. For some reason I saw absolutely no problem with it."
30 year old computer programmer and "old skewl" tripper accidentally finds the best drug of his life, 4-Methoxy-N-ethylamphetamine
“I realize after a while that Christina Aguilera is indeed an evil alien sent from another planet to seduce us.”
Aspiring lucid dreamer finds a dream-enhancing drug that actually works, silene capensis
“From none of the 60 psychoactive substances that I have tried, have I ever seen such colours.”
Local man dissociates after experimenting with extreme wasabi doses at sushi dinner
“The comedown from wasabi is very abrupt, returning to baseline a few seconds after the pain reaches peak intensity.”
Medical researcher steals super expensive xenon gas from work to trip nuts for a few minutes
“The smile spreads further across my face and the ringing is more intense until I can no longer justify holding the balloon to my mouth. I drop it and grin, wondering what on earth I would do if the cleaner entered at that moment.”
BOOMERHIPPY tests positive for amphetamines
"I tested positive for most everything, which I expected, but I also tested positive for Amphetamines which surprised me."
Ram Daas: How Do We Get Trapped within Psychedelic Experiences?
Some excerpted words from Ram Daas, the ex-Harvard Psychologist and Tim Leary's trip buddy:
“Paradise is the prison of the sage as the world is the prisoner of the believer.” – Yahja b. Mu’adh al-Razi
For many of us who have come into meditation through psychedelics, the model we had for changing consciousness has been of “getting high”. We pushed away our normal waking state in order to embrace a state of euphoria, harmony, bliss, peace, or ecstasy. Many of us spent long periods of time getting high and coming down. My guru, in speaking about psychedelics, said:
“These medicines will allow you to come and visit Christ, but you can only stay two hours. Then you have to leave again. This is not the true samadhi. It’s better to become Christ than to visit him – but even the visit of a saint for a moment is useful.” Then he added, “But love is the most powerful medicine.”
"For love slowly transforms you into what the psychedelics only let you glimpse."
In view of his words, when I reflected on my trips with LSD and other psychedelics, I saw that after a glimpse of the possibility of transcendence, I continued tripping only to reassure myself that the possibility was still there. Seeing the possibility is indeed different from being the possibility. Sooner or later you must purify and alter your mind, heart, and body so that the things which bring you down from your experiences lose their power over you.
Here's the rest. Rest in peace, Ram Daas.
pressure_censor
things that sense & get incensed by signals; shorts
noise™ wants you to know how much paint thinner you should be putting in your cigarettes
spoiler alert: it's a lot*
𝖆𝖗𝐭𝖎𝖋𝖆𝐜𝐭 1 : adding a little spice to this tobacco buzz*don't dip your cigs in paint thinner you fucking savages.
By
Bengu Cobanoglu
A list of numbers, ordered by the order in which I wrote them on this list
- 5
- 69
- 420
- 9000
- -10
- 10000000
- -10000000
thank you
quantized_quotes.bib
"Sometimes the key to success is to just be adequate for a really long time."
— some dude on Hacker News
"Isn't it still drinking and driving if you get drunk off of mouthwash then drive?"
— yӭ𐦤⚇⍕⍑
J G Modell"Making itself intelligible is suicide for philosophy."
— Martin Heidegger
"Transcendence constitutes selfhood."
— Martin Heidegger
sound.wav
If you like doing drugs at concerts, let me introduce you to the band that might provide the most incredible musical experience of your life. Lotus is a high-energy fusion between funk, electronic, and jam bands and they will melt your face off. Take some time to listen to this set as you get yourself hyped for the long weekend. Peace.
interesting.vid
Stumbling upon this video while tripping by myself was a mind-expanding experience. I thought it was ludicrously long, but I ended up looking for more after I finished this. Next time you want to watch a 2.5 hour movie, maybe give this one a listen instead.
lol.zip
prompts.bib
- Cover:
/imagine Create an image of a person with long, flowing hair, wearing round, tinted sunglasses and a lab coat adorned with peace signs and floral patterns. The background should be a swirl of vibrant, psychedelic colors--think tie-dye or kaleidoscopic patterns. The person is holding up multiple chemistry flasks filled with brightly colored liquids that are glowing; red, blue, green, and purple. They are peering curiously into one of the flasks, and their face should convey a sense of wonder and exploration. Light rays emanate from the flasks, adding to the psychedelic atmosphere:: Illustrate a hippie scientist standing in a laboratory setting that has been transformed into a psychedelic wonderland. The walls of the lab are alive with swirling, shifting patterns of neon colors. The scientist wears a lab coat that looks like it's made out of a tie-dye shirt, complete with peace symbols and flower patches sewn on. They have long, untamed hair and are wearing John Lennon-style sunglasses. In their hands, they hold several chemistry flasks filled with glowing, colorful liquids--like a rainbow in glass. They are peering intently into one flask, as if unlocking the secrets of the universe. Rays of light burst from the flasks, making the scene feel magical and surreal:: --v 5.2
- 𝖆𝖗𝐭𝖎𝖋𝖆𝐜𝐭 1: (paint)
/imagine a cigarette rests in a paint can:: a cigarette is inside of a paint can, the paint is hardly mixed and looks black and glittery inside:: --v 5.2