Close your eyes and imagine a wide open sky.

How do you feel?

I know you didn't actually try to imagine it, so here:

When imagining a wide open sky, many people may feel a sense of vastness, freedom, and awe. The expanse of the sky stretching out endlessly can evoke a feeling of transcendence and insignificance in the face of the universe. The open sky often symbolizes boundless possibilities and a sense of limitless potential. It can also bring about a feeling of serenity and peace, as the open space and lack of barriers can create a sense of relaxation and calmness. (GPT 3.5)

That sounds about right.  Free– Open– Soaring– Vast–

From the earliest days of human consciousness, we wondered in awe what it must be like to fly across the wide open sky.

Even though the idea of human flight was unimaginable, human beings imagined the feeling of freedom, soaring through the vast open sky.

Imagination leads to ingenuity and turns dreams into reality.

We figured out how to fly with the birds among the clouds, across continents above the ocean, and above the earth, where we thought God bound us to be.

We then figured out how to make it cheaper and safer so everyone can fly. The wonders of science and capitalism led to the democratization of human flight.

And today, what do we imagine when we dream of flying?

Uncomfortable seats. Loud white noise. Small screens. Swollen legs. Fat neighbor. Lines to the bathroom. Shitty food. Chapped lips. Crying babies.

Democratization meant commoditization, which led to the broification of flight, or the reduction of its awe into basic emotions without knowledge of its context or history. And broficiation always comes with shittitization, whereby the price stays the same or goes higher, but the quality goes lower and lower in order to maximize shareholder value.

Like Icarus, who flew too close to the sun and fell from the sky, we have fallen from the heights of our achievement down to this humble and uncomfortable seat.

In this battleground called modern life, I fight to optimize my life with flight, and therefore also fight to optimize my flights as much as I can. At this point, I believe I can fly pretty well (and no, I'm not going to make any reference to the classic song, because I'm about to reclaim that hackneyed phrase).

It is a bird-eat-bird world out there up in the skies. I can't promise your flight will be pleasant. The food won't be just what you wanted, the movie won't be as amazing on a small screen, and the jetlag isn't going to be any better.

All I can tell you is:

1. At check-in, ask if there are emergency exit seats available. Some flights keep them open to verify that the passenger can handle the door-opening duties in life-threatening situations. If it's available, take it. You'll have enough legroom to fit multiple bodies.
2. Invest in earplugs and noise-canceling headphones. White noise can really screw with your head. I sleep in the sweet, sweet oblivion longer with both of them on.
3. Walk around and stretch. Long sitting leads to blood getting piled up in your legs, because, you know, gravity. This leads to your legs and feet swelling, and your shoes feeling very tiny. Let the blood flow, not clot. Try stretching a bit after the bathroom visit.

Much like life, you just have to deal with the fact that you're stuck in an uncomfortable spot in a noisy space with a crowd of strangers.

Make the most of it. We hope this issue helps you on your journey.

ண✈

– ƴΐ⍧ի⍲e⌊ ⅋ yӭ𐦤⚇⍕⍑

Reflections on Modern Air Travel

There's no music on an airplane. Perhaps at one point there was, but people tend to take music into their own hands these days. This is just one of the ways that modern technology has reduced human connection to rubble. If I were designing a playlist for a domestic American flight, I would only select house remixes of Al Qaeda recruitment videos. Certainly, everyone would appreciate that.

Turning your light on to read while everyone is sucked into the screens on the backs of all the seats is a flex if I've ever seen one. Being the lone reading light on an otherwise dimly lit plane is the intellectual equivalent of furiously peddling a bike on a busy road. The cars are probably annoyed at you, but they have to respect your grit.

Using a reading light is a great way to meet romantic partners using this one simple heuristic dating apps don't want you to know about. When the sun sets below the horizon and the sky fades to a deep purple, it's about time to turn your light on. Look around and see if any bachelors or bachelorettes are also using their reading light. Their neighbors certainly wouldn't want to sit next to such a bright distraction, but you had your reading light on anyway so of course you’d be happy to take their spot. That way, both of your neighbors could sit comfortably in darkness and you could simp for a few hours under a spotlight for the whole plane to see. You could ask questions like, "What are you reading?" or "How about that airplane food?" Really, reading lights on planes is just a freak flag that states, I'm single and ready to mingle. Good luck out there everyone.

On an airplane, you're not allowed to bring your own alcohol onto the plane, or rather, you're not allowed to drink the alcohol that you bring onto the plane. However, airplanes are designed with the customer in mind, so they put doors on all their bathrooms. If you slip into the restroom, you could probably finish a whole fifth before anyone got suspicious of the amount of time you spent in there. The walk back to your seat might be difficult but it certainly won't be as difficult as the walk back to the bathroom when you inevitably have to piss 10 minutes later. This is why, as a responsible airplane drinker, the onus is upon you to choose a seat near the restroom. Really, it's for everyone's benefit.

Movies are fun to watch on airplanes, but sometimes movies contain naked bodies. There's nothing quite like watching naked people on screen knowing everyone behind you gets to watch too. The pre-programmed movies on plane screens contain a very mild amount of nudity, so if you want to see naked people on a plane, you're going to have to bring them yourself. BYOB, Bring Your Own Bodies.

The History and Science of Airplane Cuisine

You should just listen to this Radiolab podcast, but basically, airplane food used to be a five-star level experience.

But then the companies needed to survive and made it shitty, and the consumers told them that it was okay because they still needed to fly.

Today, airplane food is undeniably gross, and if it is not, grossly unaffordable. However, the episode also discusses how to make it feel better. Essentially, airplane is very dry so our smell and taste don't work correctly.

While they discuss some techniques like spraying a mist, the most effective strategy is to get drunk before the flight and pass out, so you don't feel hungry.

The Flight Before Christmas

Tales of the endurance test that is flying on a commercial airliner with your fellow human.

War Against Jetlag

Wars are terrible, but you have to give them credit for resulting in scientific and technological progress. The original intention was bad, but the unintended byproducts were unimaginably good.

The drive to murder each other has ended up in computers, GPS, Internet, penicillin, just to name a few. One less known advancements is the anti-jetlag strategy developed by the US Air Force, the Argonne Anti-Jet-Lag Diet. You trick your circadian rhythm using when you eat.

That looks very complicated. Basically, fast before flying, and eat/sleep according to the time of your destination. Best way is to just fast until you eat breakfast in your destination.

Which kind of sucks, which is probably why it's not really as well known as other inventions like the internet. So I just eat and drink whenever I want and as much as I want. The key is to stay up as long as possible when you arrive and make sure you never wake up before 11 AM. If you do, you're going to be debilitated by midday nappies, and god forbid, if you take a nap in the afternoon, you're going to be hating yourself reading stuff like this at 5 AM in the morning.

propaganja_news

• 77% of young travelers with some social media following report feeling unsure about how to square the environmental damage of flying and the positive impact of their travel selfies on Instagram
• 42% of everyone else is also actively ignoring the environmental impact of visiting one's family
• 98% of air travelers report having fantasized about a romantic encounter with another person
• 51% were women imagining a lovely encounter with a handsome and intelligent man serendipitously seated next to her
• 47% were men imagining having sex in the airplane bathroom
• 2% report having tried and being rejected or prosecuted
• 40% say they stay in the bathroom longer than they have to, because they waited for a long time, too
• The other 60% just can't admit it
• Local smokers in the airplane bathroom feels tempted by the ashtray

quantized_quotes

It's either a small miscellaneous item or a Russian philosopher.

- yӭ𐦤⚇⍕⍑, on the meaning of 'tchotchke'

A mark of old age is choosing an aisle seat.

- ƴΐ⍧ի⍲e⌊

As I gaze upon the wide open sky, my spirit takes flight on the wings of wonder and awe. The expanse stretches out before me, an ethereal canvas painted with hues of cerulean and cotton-white. The vastness embraces my senses, engulfing me in a symphony of boundless freedom. With each breath, the air feels crisp and pure, carrying the whispers of distant dreams and aspirations. The open sky whispers secrets of cosmic mysteries, igniting a spark of curiosity within my soul. In its grandeur, I find solace and serenity, as if the weight of the world is lifted, leaving only tranquility in its wake. In the face of such limitless horizons, my spirit dances, unencumbered by the confines of earthly existence. The wide open sky becomes a gateway to infinite possibilities, reminding me that I am but a tiny part of a grand cosmic tapestry. In its embrace, I find inspiration, hope, and the eternal reminder that the sky's limit is only a figment of imagination.

- GPT4, in response to 'write a beautiful paragraph describing the feeling of a wide open sky'

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While many of us have heard the story of Icarus, people forget the story of Daedalus. Daedalus was the father of Icarus, and a masterful engineer who built the wings that killed his son. Devastated by this tragedy and crushed by a sense of guilt, he stopped creating any inventions that could kill people. He was the Greek mythology equivalent of Alfred Nobel.

He decided to channel his energy into creating art instead of useful things. Daedalus is now an American record producer based in Los Angeles who uses a strange little sequencer machine. Although his music could feel like it is on the same tempo the whole time, it is generally too chaotic to notice it. He creates both bangers and chillers.

Sources & Prompts

• Feature Image: top view of white clouds during daytime by Luke Pamer

1. How to read like an American Space Jesus in a terrorist airplane
   /imagine https://s.mj.run/Hx52l04gnJk A colored line sketch of a sexy man reading a book with reading light on an airplane:: A woman on an airplane falling in love with reading man
2. How to turn on the reading light in an airplane
   /imagine  https://s.mj.run/Hx52l04gnJk A sketch of a professional bicyclist riding in heavy traffic, in an airplane
3. How to attract powerful chairwomen in an airplane
   /imagine https://s.mj.run/Hx52l04gnJk A sketch of a sexy man reading a book with reading light on an airplane:: A woman on an airplane falling in love with reading man
4. How to drink alcohol discreetly while reading a newspaper in an airplane
   /imagine https://s.mj.run/Hx52l04gnJk A sketch of people drinking booze on a plane